I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
