my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
