I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
