You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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