So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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