That's intense
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
