69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
