Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My feet surprised me
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
