Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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