Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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