I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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