Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just found a bag of teeth...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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