Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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