I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
