I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
its liver damage thursday
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
