I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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