dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
