let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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