Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
