he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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