If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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