ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
