Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
