I need help removing her.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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