I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
