ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize