also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
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i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
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The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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