Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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