my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
