I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
