you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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