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Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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