Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize