I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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