Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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