yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
