apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
