Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
