I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
