She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think i got beer on your cat.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
