she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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