we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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