PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
