we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
