just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
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There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
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Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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