I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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