I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
