Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
