then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
