I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
