Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
