There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
