the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We left an ass print on the piano.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
