let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
