Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
