You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm sobbing to NWA
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
