Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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