hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
