the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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