I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
