is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
