I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
