you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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