Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
