Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
