its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
