Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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