There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
