I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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