Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize